How Are You Letting Money Determine Your Worth?

Transitionyte.com: How are you letting money determine your worthMoney has always been an issue in my life ever since I was a child. My parents moved from Jamaica to America in search of a better life. Working hard to achieve the American Dream, being broke became a recurring theme from my childhood all the way up.

My parents worked hard, long hours while I went to school but there never seemed to be enough money. When I got old enough, I worked and because things were tough I sometimes had to take on two jobs to pay for my tuition and books using short term loans to buy more time. Making Washington scream was something I learned to do because I was built and bred on survival.

As an adult, I went through some of the most terrible times with money. It all came to a head in 2003 when I dropped to bottom. I was exhausted, stressed, worried and at the heart of that was lack of money…or so I thought.

Earlier this year, I had a major breakthrough. I have been working on myself really, taking care of my being, creating this life that I want to live but the one aspect of my life that I couldn’t get a handle on was money. It was always so elusive. I would hesitate to mention it, talk about, ask for it. This seemed strange to me because money is a reality I needed to face if I wanted to live a life of abundance. No matter how much I worked, slaved, money always ‘ran out’.

I sat back and really just dug deep, deeper than I had ever gone on this subject; there was no backing out because that meant I was hiding myself.  I thought about my relationship to and with money and this time, a light bulb went off. Since money was such a struggle, when I asked for money for books or tuition from my parents, it was always this heavy sigh which I took to mean ‘burden.’ My financial need was a burden. When I got older and just lost my job or was laid off, money would be scant. I considered myself a burden because I didn’t have money.

That was a realization I never had before.

I equated my self-worth with my bank account. I thought that when I was financially strapped, I was too much of a burden to date or even consider dating. I was afraid that if I asked for help, that meant I wasn’t inadequate.  So when financial tightness kept happening, I would shut myself off and live alone with my ‘unworthiness.’

I was floored because now, I had a reason for what I was feeling. Because I was young and needed financial help from my parents that meant that I was a burden.  I was scared of money because its absence meant that I was not good enough.

So one of the first steps I took was to forgive my parents. Just because they were unskilled in the money arena didn’t mean that I was a burden.  It meant that they didn’t know how to really have a beneficial relationship with money.

Then I really just had a chat with myself and awakened to the fact that what I had within me was more than all the money in the world. I would no longer be frightened of money or of having a money conversation. That fear was what was keeping money away from me. So once I realized I was living in poverty-consciousness, I was able to make a switch to money consciousness which would help me to attract the circumstances to create more financial abundance.

Finally, I decided to initiate a re-parenting. I took responsibility for myself and decided that I would provide for me in a way that my parents couldn’t. I was going to take a stand for my financial abundance, declare it as mine and trust that the steps I take would lead me to where I wanted to go.

It’s an ongoing process that meant I was going to have to monitor my internal conversation and triggers but not long after that, I found my first set of clients, one of which turned into a long term project who recommended to potential second client.

It’s still a challenge but whenever that issue comes up, I’m able to handle it more effectively.

So what’s your relationship with money like? How are you letting money determine your worth? Leave a comment below!

 

 

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Dianne Dixon, CAPM, Entrepreneur, Farmer, Blogger and Author of the Jamaican Foods Min-E-Book. She writes on a variety of subjects including Health & Wellness, Personal Development, Career & more! Follow her on Twitter: @Transitionyte

5 comments for “How Are You Letting Money Determine Your Worth?

  1. August 3, 2013 at 3:31 am

    Moving out of your parents’ house, when you get married, go to college or get a job, comes with added responsibilities. When you live on your own, you have to pay bills, a task that can be difficult when you are starting out. If you need to borrow money from your parents, do so in a way that shows that you have become a responsible adult.
    Erick H. Hansen recently posted…No last blog posts to return.My Profile

    • August 3, 2013 at 8:52 pm

      Couldn’t have said it better. I just know that sometimes it’s not as smooth. The most important thing is to get up, understand what was going on and just move towards your goal. Thanks for your insight, Erick
      Dianne recently posted…The Prison That George BuiltMy Profile

  2. September 17, 2013 at 10:55 pm

    Women tend to see money more as a security issue, so they will gravitate toward the rainy-day fund. Because of their need for security, ladies can have a level of fear—my wife, Sharon, calls it terror—when there are money problems. Men and women are different in how they view money, and it is largely because they process problems and opportunities from different vantage points.
    Arnold Reynolds recently posted…No last blog posts to return.My Profile

    • September 21, 2013 at 8:02 pm

      Hi Arnold, I really appreciate your point. I agree; I’ve had to talk myself down from “the ledge” a few times. We do process problems in a way that we have a plan A, B, C…and when it comes to money, we just tie it to a lot of our life. The challenge is to detangle and just live. Not an easy process. Thanks for your (and your wife’s) insight
      Dianne recently posted…Let The (Over)Taxation Begin – Jamaica’s GCT ExtendsMy Profile

  3. January 24, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    Moving out of your parents’ house, when you get married, go to college or get a job, comes with added responsibilities. When you live on your own, you have to pay bills, a task that can be difficult when you are starting out. If you need to borrow money from your parents, do so in a way that shows that you have become a responsible adult.
    Yong Park recently posted…No last blog posts to return.My Profile

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